Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Communication Problems

I am still having trouble commenting you most of my Peeps.  I also cannot get anyone from Google Help to answer my request, and I don’t know what else to do. 

DC, Not So Simply Single, Middle Child, Pax, Suz, and so many others, I comment, it says the comment has been saved, I go back to your site and the comment is gone.  It is so frustrating.

I do have emails from some of you and I can email you my comment, but there are some who prefer not to have their emails listed on their site.  I do understand that.  So, if you trust me, send me your email to johnjudyc at gmail dot com. 

When I send out emails to my peeps in mass, I do so as BlindCC so your email is not seen by the world.  But I only do mass emails to those who have agreed to let me send them jokes and stuff.  So if you send me you email just for comments sake, let me know and I will not add you to my mass list.

I don’t know what else to do but to keep on trying to comment on your sites and hopefully it will fix itself (not).  In the meantime I will continue to bug Google Blogger for help.

Later, Peeps!

Monday, February 27, 2012

A Doctor's Ad

The attached is an ad that ran in the Feb. 5th Sunday paper:
The News Herald, Panama City, FL. 

It sums up a lot of local feelings regarding the current administration. 

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Signs For The Times

And Finally:

There I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker type steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig.

“Well, whatcha gonna do about it?” he asked menacingly.

I burst into tears.

“Come on, man,” the biker says, “I didn’t think you’d cry.  I can’t stand to see a man cry.”

I looked at him and sniffed, “This is the worst day of my life.  I’m a complete failure.

I was late for a meeting and the boss fired me.

When I got to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen.  Then I left my wallet in the cab I took home.

I found my wife with another man, and then my dog bit me.

So I came to this to work up the courage to put an end to it all.  So I buy a drink, drop a capsule in it and was satching the poison dissolve; then you show up and drink the whole thing.

But enough about me, how’s your day going?”

Saturday, February 25, 2012

Control Tower / Pilot Communications

Actual exchanges between pilots and control towers.

Tower: "TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 Degrees."
TWA 2341: "Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?"
Tower: "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?"
O'Hare Approach Control to a 747: "United 329 heavy, your traffic is a Fokker, one o'clock, three miles, Eastbound."
United 329: "Approach, I've always wanted to say this....I've got the little Fokker in sight."
A student became lost during a solo cross-country flight. While attempting to locate the aircraft on radar, ATC asked,"What was your last known position?"
Student: "When I was number one for takeoff."
A DC-10 had come in a little hot and thus had an exceedingly long roll out after touching down. San Jose Tower noted:
"American 751, make a hard right turn at the end of the runway, if you are able. If you are not able, take the Guadeloupe exit off Highway 101, make a right at the lights and return to the airport."
A Pan Am 727 flight, waiting for start clearance in Munich, overheard the following:
Lufthansa (in German): "Ground, what is our start clearance time?"
Ground (in English): "If you want an answer you must speak in English."
Lufthansa (in English): "I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany. Why must I speak English?"
Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British accent):
"Because you lost the bloody war!"
Tower: "Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on frequency 124.7"
Eastern 702: "Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure. By the way, after we lifted off we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the runway."
Tower: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff behind Eastern 702, contact Departure on frequency 124.7. Did you copy that report from Eastern 702?"
Continental 635: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, roger; and yes, we copied Eastern... We've already notified our caterers."
One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short of the active runway while a DC-8 landed. The DC-8 landed, rolled out, turned around, and taxied back past the Cherokee. Some quick-witted comedian in the DC-8 crew got on the radio and said: "What a cute little plane. Did you make it all by yourself?"
The Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came back with a real zinger:
"I made it out of DC-8 parts. Another landing like yours and I'll have enough parts for another one."
The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a short-tempered lot. They not only expect one to know one's gate parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that we listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747, call sign Speedbird 206.
Speedbird 206: " Frankfurt, Speedbird 206! clear of active runway."
Ground: "Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven."
The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.
Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?"
Speedbird 206: "Stand by, Ground, I'm looking up our gate location now."
Ground (with quite arrogant impatience): "Speedbird 206, have you not been to Frankfurt before?"
Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark, -- And I didn't land."
While taxiing at London's Airport, the crew of a US Air flight departing for Ft Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with a United 727.
An irate female ground controller lashed out at the US Air crew, screaming: "US Air 2771, where the hell are you going? I told you to turn right onto Charlie taxiway! You turned right on Delta! Stop right there. I know it's difficult for you to tell the difference between C and D, but get it right!"
Continuing her rage to the embarrassed crew, she was now shouting hysterically:
"God! Now you've screwed everything up! It'll take forever to sort this out! You stay right there and don't move till I tell you to! You can expect progressive taxi instructions in about half an hour, and I want you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell you, and how I tell you! You got that, US Air 2771?"
"Yes, ma'am," the humbled crew responded.
Naturally, the ground control communications frequency fell terribly silent after the verbal bashing of US Air 2771. Nobody wanted to chance engaging the irate ground controller in her current state of mind. Tension in every cockpit out around Gatwick was definitely running high. Just then an unknown pilot broke the silence and keyed his microphone, asking:
"Wasn't I married to you once?"