Monday, January 22, 2007

More Than You Ever Wanted To Know About Me

Gizmorox, over at “My Head Is A Box Filled With Nothing,” had the list below and I thought, since, like her sight says, my head is empty, I would do the exercise, too. So here goes:

Three screen names that you’ve had: Coffeypot, Maxwell House (Good to the last drop), Percolator.

Three things you like about yourself: I’m retired, my sense of humor and my self control at not shooting those who piss me off.

Three things you don’t like about yourself: I don’t look like Tom Sellick, I’m built more like Goofy than anyone else and I have the desire to shoot those people who piss me off.

Three parts of your heritage: Cherokee Indian, Irish and, most importantly, Southern.

Three things that scare you: Bill Collectors, Hilary Clinton might become president and that people will start taking Rosie O’Donnell seriously.

Three of your everyday essentials: Sweet Tea, all my medications and TV.

Three things you are wearing right now: Underwear, socks and blue jeans

Three of your favorite songs: Baby Let Me Bang Your Box – Dave Clark and the Hot Nuts (early 60’s song – honest.)
Sixteenth Avenue – Lacy J Dalton
Many others that do not come to mind right now.

Three things you want in a relationship: Honesty, humor and do everything I say. (I wonder what that would actually feel like.)

Two truths and a lie: I drove racecars, I’ve been to Hiroshima, and I’ve snowboarded.

Three things you can’t live without: Air, Water (or diet Coke) and Food.

Three places you want to go on vacation: Australia, Japan and Hawaii.

Three things you just can’t do:Have a baby or a period, brain surgery and eat liver.

Three kids names:Bill, Jim and Stephen

Three things you want to do before you die:
Drive in a NASCAR race, Become a pilot, Own and live on a houseboat (Just things that can be done if I had MONEY.)

Three celeb crushes: Katherine Bell of JAG, Charlize Theron, Jennifer Love (the boobs) Hewett.

Three of your favorite musicians: Credence Clearwater Revival, Rod Stewart and Nitty Gritty Dirt Band.

Three physical things about the opposite sex that appeal to you: Legs, ass, boobs, body, hair, face, lips, smell, taste and build. What? Only three? Okay: Legsassboobsbody, hairfacelips, and smelltastebuild. That’s three, right?

Three of your favorite hobbies: Reading/TV, NASCAR and J-man and Bug.

Three things you really want to do badly right now: Pee (excuse me, be right back), go walking in the woods, and win the lottery.

Three careers you’re considering/you’ve considered:Lawyer (then I could fuck a lot of people), a cop (then I could shoot all those I couldn’t fuck over), a preacher (they get more sex than the average man. There is the old joke where the kid comes running into the room to his dad and says the religious man is coming. He tells the boy to find out which one it is and, if it is the Catholic Priest, to stand in front of the liquor cabinet, if it is the Methodist Preacher, to stand in front of the refrigerator, and if it is the Baptist Preacher, to sit in his mother’s lap.)

Three ways that you are stereotypically a boy: I can stand and pee up a wall, I love to drive fast, and I love to look at good looking women.

Three ways that you are stereotypically a girl: I can throw a hissy fit and any time, I cry at movies, and I’m a Lesbian.

Now, why don’t you do one, too, and let me know if you do so that I can read yours.


SkippyMom said...

Me and Skippyhusband are about you are funny Coffey....fav? Three things about the opposite sex..."That's three right?" uh...yah?

I will try to get this done today, but it is always such a let down after you b/c I just am NOT funny....


her indoors said...

LOL, three things you cant do..... have a baby, brain serugery and eat liver!!!!!!!!!!! man you make me laugh

GrizzBabe said...

"Baby let me bang your box"? Why, I wonder what that song is about? ;)

coffeypot said...

Skippy, you don't have to be funny. I'm not. Those are true answers.

her indoors, again, I'm not trying to be funny. Stop laughing at me. I'm serious, I tell ya.

grizzbabe, it is a real song. It was even on the jukeboxes. I sware.

Norman said...

Three things you cannot do:....have a period....


Norman ;)

Paige said...

It's DOUG Clark and the Hot of my all time favorite bands...

coffeypot said...

Hey, Page. When are you going to get your own blog page?

Beth said...

You've never been snowboarding ... and I like the kids' names you listed.

Paige said...

No blogging for me! I'll let you, Beth and Marni speak for the family.

The Boob Lady said...

I like that you're a lesbian. Sure does 'splain some of your comments. :)

Mary Stebbins Taitt said...

The heck with the invisible COCKpit, I'd like an invisible machine gun to mow down the people who tick me off.

Mary Stebbins Taitt said...

MMMMmmmmI love liver--you are too funny!