How many men does it take to open a beer?
None! It should be opened when she brings it.
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Why is a Laundromat
a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
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Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me....'
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How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
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I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
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Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
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Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
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In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
DONT STOP NOW!
I have posted three or four down below. I usually don't post more that one a day, but I will be gone on my dog run till Saturday afternoon, so this will have to hold you till then. READ ON, PEEPS
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
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10 comments:
Good thing you're my best fwiend, or I'd kick your ass. ;)
HEY! If you weren't so darn cute I would have to kick your ass sport.
clew and Christine, you two and Special K want a some of me real bad. I say lets all three of you meet me at the bar, have a few beers, get necked and climb in a mud pit and go at it. Last one standing is the winner.
I think you're long overdue for an ass kickin' so I'm in!
With one request, can we use pudding instead?
I'm a hellcat in pudding.......
giggle
you forgot "why are divorce lawyers so expensive?"
because they're worth every penny!!
Q: What does a redneck tell a woman with two black eyes?
A: Nothin'. He's already done told her twice.
I love this one, how very true:
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
Women can't be equal to men because they are so much BETTER!
No offense gals but this one really is funny & TRUE
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
Coffypot, why must you temp me to join you in this death wish? :)
Special K, I can do pudding, too. That way, when I bit you ass it will taste better.
cap'n I agree. Mine was worth every cent spent and it made her a happy woman, too.
bd, I hate it when you have to tell them more than twice because by then the knuckles are bleeding and swelling.
Mary, they are in some ways. They cook better, they wash and iron better, and sex is more fun with a woman. It's just a shame that men own everything.
td, I think we are both doomed, but if you like pudding, you can join us.
Resting is a waste of time.
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