Learning time again, my favorite peeps. Some you are offered paper or plastic at the checkout counter, and some of you can only get plastic. That’s okay! Just use the plastic bags in some of your daily activities. Listed below are 10 usages for your consideration.
I can’t imagine America’s 1st Sergeant, Sgt. Mike of Castra Praetoria fame on my blog roll, drooling over this stuff, especially since plastic bags aren’t in common use in Iraq. But even he and his men could get their hands on some they could be used to keep ammo dry, Playboys in operating order and cigars and cigarettes fresh. But I don’t suggest they be used a prophylactics – no matter how big your…eh…ego is. Anyway, maybe some of these will help you home-bound types with some minor problems.
As Knee Pads: Need to kneel in your garden to pull weeds, or on the street to change a tire, but don't want to preserve the memory eternally on your pant legs? Grab a couple of plastic bags and tie one around each knee, covering the area that will be exposed to dirt and grime.
As Hand Protectors: There are some things you'd just as soon not touch with your bare hands. Use bags as gloves to handle what's messy (say, chicken carcasses) or just plain gross (like the little "presents" the dog leaves in the front yard), then turn them inside out to trap the offending matter within for easy disposal.
As Paintbrush Preservers: You're painting the kitchen when an emergency (kid's sick at school; Brad Pitt is Ellen's special guest) calls you off the job. To keep brushes and rollers from drying out, place them in bags and tie them or wrap them with rubber bands to keep out air. The tools will stay moist and protected for a day or so.
As Makeshift Rain Hats: A 30 percent chance of rain… hmm. Do you tote around an umbrella (maybe for nothing) or head out sans protection (and risk getting drenched)? Third option: Tuck a plastic bag into your pocket or purse. Then, if you're caught in a downpour, you can use it as an on-the-spot rain hat to protect your do.
As Kitchen-Cleanup Aids: For no-fuss cleanup, instead of peeling fruits and vegetables over a cutting board or into the sink, do it over a plastic bag. When you're done, flip the peelings into the garbage and rinse the bag to reuse another day, or simply toss the whole shebang into the trash.
As Wrapping Paper: No time to make an emergency pre-party run for wrapping paper? Riffle through your bags to find the prettiest and most colorful or just ones without writing. Triple-bag the gift, then tie all three sets of handles into a knot. Cut the tops of the loops and fan out the pieces to make a plume.
As Wet Umbrella Holders: To avoid dripping water all over your (or anyone else's) house on a rainy day, pop your wet umbrella into a bag as you cross the threshold. You can even tie the handles snugly and throw it back into your purse - unless, of course, your bumbershoot is of Mary Poppins proportions but your carpetbag isn't.
As Shoe Protectors: It will never be a fashion trend, but tying bags over your shoes can keep you from tracking mud into the house when you come in, or protect slippers from dirt, snow, or rain when you run out to fetch the paper from the front lawn. (Be careful when walking on smooth surfaces, as the plastic won't give you any traction.)
As Cookbook Protectors: To keep the cookbook clean while attempting that "easy to follow" seven-layer-cake recipe, wrap a bag around everything but the page you're using. Although it won't keep you from (inevitably) spattering the list of ingredients with vanilla extract, the rest of the book, at least, will remain pristine.
As Planter Fillers: Crumple bags to fill the bottom of a large pot that's too deep for your plant (but be sure not to cover the drainage hole, if it has one). You can cut down on the amount of potting soil needed, and since plastic packs less heft than dirt, you'll be able to move a big planter around with a bit less grunting.