Monday, January 04, 2010

Red Neck Monday - Blue Neck Northerners

Blue Necks are Northerners -- the opposite of Rednecks.

Because of all the Redneck jokes, we thought it only fair to give our take on Northerners.

Instead of referring to two or more people as "Y'all," you call them "you guys," even if both of them are women.

You think barbecue is a verb meaning "to cook outside."

You think Heinz Ketchup is really SPICY.

You would never stop to buy something somebody was cooking on the side of the road. (e.g., boiled peanuts).

You don't have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce" correctly.

For breakfast, you would prefer potatoes-au-gratin to grits.

You don't know what a moon pie is.

You've never had an RC Cola.

You've never, ever eaten okra -- fried, boiled, or pickled.

You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork.

You've never seen a live chicken, and the only cows you've seen are on road trips.

You have no idea what a polecat is.

You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on your dog.

You don't have bangs.

You would rather have your son become a lawyer than grow up to get his own TV fishing show....

You drink either "Pop" or "Soda"- instead of "Coke."

You've never eaten and don't know how to make a tomato sandwich.

You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun-'n-knife show.

You think more money should go to important scientific research at your university than to pay the salary of the head football coach.

You don't even have one can of WD-40 somewhere around the house.

The last time you smiled was when you blocked someone from getting on an on-ramp to the highway.

You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise feed stores.

You have more than one professional sports team in your home state.

You call binoculars opera glasses.

You can't spit out the car window without pulling over to the side of the road and stopping.

You don't know anyone with at least two first names (i.e., Joe Bob, Faye Ellen, Billy Ray, Mary Jo, Bubba Dean, Joe Dan, Mary Alice)

You don't know any women with male names (i.e., Tommie, Bobbie, Johnnie, Jimmie)

You don't have Meemaw's & Pawpaw's.

You get freaked out when people on the subway talk to you.

None of your fur coats are homemade.

Yep!!! Your a BLUE NECK!!!


Mary Stebbins Taitt said...

Hey--only about half or less of these apply to me--does that mean I don't qualify as a blueneck--hey--wait--how could that be?

I've eaten okra--I eat LOTS of it. And I know lots of Ann Mary's and Mary Anns and Linda Sues. And I coudl go on. I don't cut people off at the on-ramp, for one.

Matty said...

Hmmm, some of these apply to me, and some do not. I guess I'm halfway between north and south.

Ed Adams said...

Mostly true.

Up here, we call polecats strippers, and vise versa.

I think this is self explanatory.

Paxford said...

>You think barbecue is a verb meaning "to cook outside."

Yep! that's the Aussie definition too! :)

Ace said...

And if you're a blueneck from the Pittsburgh area two or more people are referred to as "yinz guys."

clew said...

I'm only about 2/3rds of these. Whew.

Perhaps I'm a purpleneck?