Us'en Rednecks have a way wif words. There are hunnards of'em, but I won't tell them all to ya rat now. Just a few to wet ya wissle. If'fin y'all have any quessions, just leave'em in that thar comment box and I'll get to'em shortly.
He'd bitch if you hung him with a new rope.
Don't worry too much about it. Just do all you can do and let the rough end drag.
That boy is about as sharp as a cue ball.
You couldn't hit a bull in the butt with a bass fiddle.( bad shot)
I'm bowed up like a Halloween Cat.
He's ridin' a gravy train on biscuit wheels.
Ain't no point in beatin' a dead horse...'course, can't hurt none either.
I'd love to have a dress just like that, but I don't go to many Puerto Rican proms.
Madder than a bobcat caught in a piss fire.
He's so stupid, he couldn't find his ass with both hands.
Don't let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya.
That'll go over like a pregnant pole vaulter.
Nuttier than a Squirrel turd.
I'd rather jump barefoot off a 6-foot step ladder into a 5 gallon bucket full of porcupines than...
You catch more flies with jam than you do with vinegar.
As easy as herding chickens.
Richer than 3 feet up a bull's ass (bull manure is especially good fertilizer).
Tighter than a skeeter's ass in a nose dive.
I'm so hungry, I'd eat the balls off a low flying duck!
She's wound up tighter than the girdle of a Baptist minister's wife at an all-you-can-eat pancake breakfast.
She's as useful as a tit on a boar hog.
Nuttier than a port-a-potty at a peanut festival.
You're as handy as a cow on a crutch.
You got to be 10% smarter than the equipment you're runnin'.
My sister is soooooo ugly, we had to tie a pork chop around her neck to get the dogs to play her.
She's purtier than a mess of fried catfish.
Hornier than a two pecker’ed billy goat.
Her ass was so big, it looked like two Buicks fighting for a parking place.
Busier than a cat covering up shit on a concrete floor.
Ain't no thing but a chicken wing.
Busier than a stump full of ants.
That dawg won't hunt.
It's colder than a mother-in-law's love.
You're slower than molasses on a cold day.
.jpg)
12 comments:
Always fun to read stuff like this.
Some of them are so redneck I can't even follow! lol
I love the Buicks fighting for a parking space.
I'm here from mrsblogalot (whom I adore)
I still wish I understood what a redneck was!! I don't think you get them in the UK or Middle East ;0)
The low flying duck one is my favorite. I vow to work that into conversation today....
Every time you post this redneck stuff, it just drives home that me and mine got a lot of redneck in us. Quite a few of these actually get uttered around here.
My mom says the first on All. The. Time. She also says 'As useless as tits on a boar' - same thing as the one you listed with a little different wording.
"Busier than a cat covering up shit on a concrete floor."
At least 7 of these busy cats live next door to me in my yard. If you too have cats which aren't yours, you will know what I mean by that convoluted comment.
"You're slower than molasses on a cold day." I said something similar to my computer yesterday.
P.S. I had to delete my first attempt at this comment. It had bad form, and I'm obnoxious like that!
Well.
Some of them are new to me.
A few I learned at the receiving end of the switch Mom was a usin.
And of course I've been usein quite a few with some of the words changed around.
OOOOOooooo. Does that make this bred an born Oregonian a "red-neck"?
Huge smile...snickers
Miss Em
Some new and some I have heard before but it's always good to hear them again!! Most Rednecks are just good old country boys:)
pet insurance
You can determine if your chameleon suffers from this by holding the chameleon close to your ear and listening to it. This also depends on the attitude of a landlord if you rent. Many dog owners would opt to breed their dogs so that they can get puppies.
Post a Comment