Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Idiot Sightings

Don't know for sure, but these are suppose to be true. You be the judge.

However, if you don't understand any of them, then add yourself to the list.

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door.

As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.

'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'It's open!'

His reply: 'I know. I already got that side.'

This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, MS

We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener.
I thought for a minute, then said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.

He shook his head negatively, and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4.

He said, 'NO, it's not.' Four is larger than two.'

We haven't used Sears repair since.

My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter.

She said, 'You gave me too much money.'

I said, 'Yes, I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back. She sighed and went to get the manager, who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said 'We're sorry, but we could not do that kind of thing.'

The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.

Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.

I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road.

The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'

From Kingman, KS

My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'

He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.

From Kansas City

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'

To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'

He smiled knowingly, then nodded and said, 'That's why we ask.'

Happened in Birmingham , Ala.

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.

Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'

She's a probation officer in Wichita, KS

At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company due to 'downsizing,' our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more often.'

Not another word was spoken.

We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.

I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and, for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.

A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriff's office, no less.

How would you pronounce this child's name?


Leah?? NO
Lee - A?? NOPE
Lay - a?? NO
Lei?? Guess Again.

This child attends a school in Kansas City, Mo. Her mother is irate because everyone is getting her name wrong.

It's pronounced "Ledasha."

When the mother was asked about the pronunciation of the name, she said, "The dash don't be silent."

They walk among us...and they VOTE and REPRODUCE!


Mrsblogalot said...

Omg...can these be real?? I tried putting my ear to the computer but didn't hear anything (-:

Hillbilly Duhn said...

Oh, I believe every last one! Did you notice most were from MO?? LOL! I live in MO, and I'll tell ya what, there is more of this each and every day then you could imagine.

The funniest one has got to be the Mc D's one, only because that's actually close to what happend to me once. I had to explain I wanted a dollar back and it was like a whole lot of hassell. What the crap I thought I was doing the chic a favor.

Lickety Splitter said...

Oh my word ... our society seems to be headed for the cliff.

Momma Fargo said...

You had me at idiot sightings. Where did you see me?

Matty said...

These are priceless. And you are so right. They are all around us.

blueviolet said...

Honestly, I'm inclined to believe they're true!

Barb said...

Yup. They are all around us. Like the woman who called ON-STAR because she'd locked herself in the car.

Tracie said...

It's an epidemic of idiocy!

rxBambi said...

OMG. my friends cousin had a patient named La-a (Ladasha). For reals!! I think the gene pool needs some chlorine :)

CI-Roller Dude said...

Hey, I thank God everyday for dumbass people like that...or I might be out of work.

Anonymous said...

I was driving with someone who recently "learned" to drive. She approached the intersection, had a green left-turn arrow and began to turn. When she got in the middle of the intersection, she looked up at the cross light (obviously stopping the oncoming traffic), slammed on the brakes and said, "Look, that light is red!! I can't go that way!
Nope. It's real. THEY are out there.

clew said...

I literally LOL at the luggage one. I *so* need to remember that. Of course I'll probably be escorted out of the airport for being a smartass, but that'll just be becasue they're jealous of my intellectual superiority. Being dumbasses and all.

Anonymous said...

Most of these were from the South and KS. You can't tell me that stuff like this goes on in the North and West Coast....