Sunday, June 27, 2010

Teachers Have A Sense Of Humor, Too

(The Teacher At Her Desk After The Last Class Has Gone For The Day)

On the previous post I gave you a little cop humor, now I will give you some huumor for one of the most difficult (not because of the kids - but because of the parents) jobs in the US. Teachers!

These are actual comments made on students' report cards by teachers in the New York City public school system. All teachers were reprimanded (but, boy, are these funny!)

1. Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.

2. I would not allow this student to breed.

3. Your child has delusions of adequacy.

4. Your son is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot. (my favorite...)

5. Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.

6. The student has a 'full six-pack' but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.

7. This child has been working with glue too much.

8. When your daughter's IQ reaches 50, she should sell.

9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming..

10. If this student were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.

11. It's impossible to believe the sperm that created this child beat out 1,000,000 others.

12. The wheel is turning but the hamster is definitely dead.


Citizen Soldier said...

Now they were funny, I read them before but they were what II needed today. Thanks Coffeypot for all the laughs. Let's pray for our teachers.

Nancy said...

that is funny stuff coffey - love your blogs

Wrexie said...

Haha. Yeah, ask any special ed teacher about her margaritas at the end of the day...

Coffeypot said...

Wrexie, I knew you teachers would identify with much of this. Though you haven't necessarily said these, I'm sure you have thought them. And that is just in reading my blog. I cannot imagine you thoughts in the classroom.

Coffee Slut said...

"I would not allow this student to breed."

GunDiva said...

I wish you wouldn't tap into my brain at grading time; it's down-right embarrassing.

I can identify with, oh, pretty much all of these. Thanks for sharing.

Coffeypot said...

Coffee Slut, mine is...It's impossible to believe the sperm that created this child beat out 1,000,000 others.

GunDiva, I bet some of your horses are smarter than some of the kids.

stacief said...

HA!!! Funny and true!

Tracie said...

I'm going to have to remember some of these insults. Afterall, there is an epidemic of idiocy going on.

Daffy said...

BIG BOWL OF STUPID! These are great. No doubt if I think hard enough I can recall a few good doozies from the classroom this past school year!

Thanks for the much needed smile toinght.

Lickety Splitter said...

Oh hah hah! I wish I could say some of these things to some people I know!