Monday, July 26, 2010

Redneck Monday - Old Farmer's Advice

When I started Redneck Monday I told you peeps, and I’m telling you new peeps, that knowing a redneck is a good thing. Redneck and Hillbillies are the backbone of this country.

They are your best friend and your worst enemy. They are loyal, loving, caring, giving, religious and patriotic to a fault. They will be there with food and clothes in your time of need. And will help you fix anything that needs fixing. Some are not well educated, but are the smartest people on earth. They know life.

There is no p/c bullshit with them, either. What you see is what you get. They will tell you like it is and expect the same from you. They may get mad and hit you, but they will also pick you up and buy you a beer.

Hillbillies are the people who run the hills, operate the stills, run the garages and filling stations, build your homes and pave your roads. They work with their hands and use tools and equipment.

Rednecks, on the other hand, are your farmers and others who work outside where the sun beats down own their necks - thus the red neck moniker. Some hillbillies cross over into the redneck line because of being outside. But regardless, they are good to know.

One of the best known and respected redneck is the farmer. The lovers and cultivators of the land and who provide our grocry needs. These men are men of wisdom and sage. To prove my point, here are a few farmer sayings that could help you through life.

Old Farmer's Advice:

Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.

Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.

Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.

A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.

Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled.

Meanness don't jes' happen overnight.

Forgive your enemies; it messes up their heads.

Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.

It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.

You cannot unsay a cruel word.

Every path has a few puddles.

When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.

The best sermons are lived, not preached.

Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway.

Don't judge folks by their relatives.

Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer..

Live a good, honorable life.. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.

Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't bothering you none.

Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a Rain dance.

If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.

The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'.

Always drink upstream from the herd.

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in.

There, now. Don't cha feel a little smarter?


Ed said...

wise words

Coffeypot said...

Ed, which ones? There are 526 of them...

Nancy said...

Well put my redneck friend!!

Coffeypot said...

Thankee, Miss Nancy

Weezer said...

Oh, my goodness. Did you conspire with my Dad to write this? I swear I've heard many of these same words come from his south-Georgia lips.
Touching and so well put, Mr. Coffeypot.

Angie said...

Gawd, This post makes me miss my Paw Paw so bad...He was always working...full time as an electrician at a plant, rancher, and farmer...I swear I do not know when the man slept. He was also, always giving me advice in the form of what I called (back then) "old people sayings"! Loved this!

ScoMan said...

"Forgive your enemies. It messes with their heads"

Words I live my life by.

Plus then they look like the assholes. Especially if they get upset because you won't play their silly games, and then get angrier at you. And then everyone's like "Whoa, hey. What did he ever do to you? He's been so nice to you, and you carry on like that?"

Jamie said...

Love this. And I have to agree with Ed...they are wise words.

I hope your week is wonderful, coffey.


blueviolet said...

There is some darn good advice in there actually.

Sarge Charlie said...

why are old folks so smart?

Lickety Splitter said...

I'm gonna take that plow around the stump advice. I already steer clear of skunks and bankers and you should too!

Could you define what a Hick is next Monday?

Charlene said...

My people were all farms. My dad was a farmr and so was my mother. I married the son of a farmer, though he had moved to the city by then and was an accountant. That one about forgiving your enimies is spot on. SMILE

gayle said...

Love them all much better than most!!

Coffeypot said...

I think that most of us who are on the ‘other side’ of mid-life know or have someone in their life who farmed for a living or to supplement the nightly grub. My mom was fifty from last of 16 kids (two moms) and was raised on a farm - with no TV or Radio. The family played all the instruments and entertained themselves.

Lickety Splitter, a Hick is on the lower scale. Usually uneducated loafers who live in slum trailer parks or shacks far from civilization. They are usually not very intelligent and shun culture. Tho it is a respected trade, hicks are usually depicted as pig farmers and are dirty all the time. You know, Democrats.

Charlene said...

Respectfully Coffeypot, you don't know much about pig farmers. My father-in-law raised pigs and they were free range, in that he did not pin them in a building. I never saw the man dirty or unkempt. He kept his good clothes in the barn and showered and changed before coming in the house.

I suppose you don't eat pork?

Coffeypot said...

Charlene, go and reread my comment. I said pig farming is a respected trade. It's just the stereotypical image of a hic to live around a pig sty. As is the stereotypical type for a New Yorker to be rude, loud and push (quiet to opposite in my experience) and for Southerners to be barefooted, living on dirt roads with straw in their mouths. You just like to stir up shit, don’t yah?

lorraine said...

This is very good advice indeed. I have always liked "it is easier to ask forgiveness than ask permission". I live by that one daily. Oh you didn't want me to do that? so sorry please forgive me. Thanks for your advice. I'll add them to my bag of tricks.

Pamela said...

A lot of these can be attributed to Will Rogers.