Monday, July 12, 2010

Redneck Monday - WalMart Quote and Mo Sayings

(Wanna Ring That Door Bell?)

Even Redneck Women know the importance of dressing up for swanky places:


He’s slower than molasses runnin up hill in July.

That’s funnier then watchen a retard get laid.

Busier than a cucumber in a women's prison!

I'm so hungry my belly button is sticking out of my ass hole.

Well knock me down and steal my teeth!

He swapped legs with a jaybird and got cheated out of a butt.

It's hotter than a spanked baby's ass out here.

You can't get blood from a turnip.

He was drunker than Cooter Brown on the 4th of July.
(Cooter Brown is a name used in metaphors and similes for drunkenness.)

That BBQ is tangier than my brother's cutoffs.

He's so scared you couldn't drive a wet watermelon seed up his butt with a sledge hammer.

He's handier than a pocket on a shirt.

If I had that swing on my back porch I’d ride it every night.
(Watching a girl walk by)

Champane Taste On Soda Pop Salary.

My sister's soooo ugly, my mom had to get drunk to breastfeed her!

I'm so poor if I stepped on worn out dime I'd bet you a nickel I could tell you whether it's heads or tails.

It's Hotter n' hell's basement on the day of reckonin'.

You couldn't hit the broad side of a barn with a handful of rice!

He Was As Low As The Ex's Lawyer

It’s hotter than 4 or 5 fat bitches in an Escort

That's all for now.

Alright, Stop It!

I hear that clapping and whistling.

Just for that, I'll be back next Monday with more Redneck goodies.


ScoMan said...

Hahaha I love that woman's Walmart quote!

That's why I like McDonalds. I don't have to get all dressed up like I'm going to Burger King (it's actually Hungry Jack's here, but I thought I would globalise it by using the name the world is familiar with)

Matty said...

Sounds like stuff that Larry the Cable Guy would say.

Ace said...

Darn, Princess and I are heading out to the Walmart soon and now I gotta go change my clothes. Shoot.

Wrexie said...

Nooo...I'm NOT ringin' that doorbell!

Charlene said...

I never have to get dressed up for WalMart as I never go to WalMart. I do always wear shoes when I got to Target.

Lickety Splitter said...

Uh .. not no, but hell no, do I want to ring that deer's behind bell. Boy, where do you find this stuff?

Momma Fargo said...

Very funny. And love the deer butt. White tail? Big hole, tho. Scared me. LOL.

The Empress said...

oh, that doorbell.

just gross..


Kanani said...

ha ha ha ha ha!

Miss Em said...

I may put my hands and fingers in a lot of places BUT that's not going to be one.


Miss Em

Anonymous said...

I want that door bell...And I hate getting dressed up to go to the Wal-Mart...