Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Signs In The Kitchen

1. So this isn’t Home Sweet Home – Adjust!
2. Martha Stewart Doesn’t Live Here!!!
3. Ring Bell For Maid Service.  If No One Answers, DO IT YOURSELF!
4. I Clean House Every Other Day.  Today Is The Other Day!
5. If You Write In The Dust, Please Don’t Date It!
6. I Would Cook Dinner But I Can’t Find The Can Opener!
7. My House Was Clean Last Week, Too Bad You Missed It!
8. I Came, I Saw, I Decided To Order Take Out!
9. I You Don’t Like My Standards Of Cooking – Lower Your Standards.
10. Although You’ll Find Our House A Mess, Come In, Sit Down, Converse.
11. It Doesn’t Always Look Like This: Some Days It’s Even Worse.
12. A Messy Kitchen Is A Happy Kitchen, And This Kitchen Is Delirious.
13. A Balanced Diet Is a Cookie In Each Hand!
14. Thou Shalt Not Weight More Than Thy Refrigerator.
15. Blessed Are They Who Can Laugh At Themselves For They Shall Never Cease To Be Amused.
16. Countless Number Of People Have Eaten In This Kitchen And Gone On To Lead Normal Lives.
17. My Next House Will Have No Kitchen…Just Vending Machines.
18. I’d Live Life In The Fast Lane, But I Am Married To A Speed Bump.


Jamie said...

LOVE this - the delirious kitchen cracks me up!

Xo coffey. :)

Matty said...

Yep, I've seen all these before. My wife's favorite is "Cook on vacation....all summer".

The Empress said...

Oh, man, you come up with some good stuff.

Anonymous said...

I just finished frying potatoes and scrambling eggs and serving them with a side of toast and bacon....because JOE was hungry. My idea of food is a piece of toast at 9am, and something else at 2pm. His idea of food is a full plate at breakfast, lunch, and dinner. He retired. I can't.

Now tell me again about the vending machine idea.

AirmanMom said...

No doubt my kids wrote #16!

T. Roger Thomas said...

16 has my vote

The Reckmonster said...

I vote for #12. Except I'd amend it to read A Messy HOUSE is a happy house...