Wednesday, July 27, 2011

How Hot Is It...

It's so hot:

I can roast marshmallows on my belly.

You eat hot peppers to cool your mouth off.

You can make instant sun tea.

You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.

When the temperature drops below 95, you feel a bit chilly.

You discover that it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car.

The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.

Hot water now comes out of both taps.

You actually burn your hand opening the car door.

You break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.

Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"
You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
I saw a bunch of winos passing around a Dilly Bar!
It's so hot I saw squirrels fanning their nuts.

Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard boiled eggs.

The cows are giving evaporated milk.

Satan decided to take the day off.

I saw a dog chasing a cat and they were both walking.

Calista Flockhart was spotted eating some ice cream…and she almost ate a second spoonful.

It's hotter than a June bride in a feather bed.

It's hotter than Georgia asphalt.

It's hotter than Paris Hilton's panties.


Barb said...

My favorite quote from a friend one hot summer day "It's hard to be dignified when your underwear is soggy!"
Stay cool!

Maxwell said...

My general rule of thumb is that if I begin to sweat walking to the mailbox, it's too hot. It's been too hot for a couple months, at least.

Yankee Girl said...

During the heatwave I actually could not take a cold shower even though I tried like hell. Even when my shower was on cold water only it never got colder than lukewarm.


j-tony said...

Yes, yes it is. All of the above

Marnie said...

"It's so hot I saw squirrels fanning their nuts." - brilliant!