Thursday, September 29, 2011

Adult Truths

1. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5 because I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blu Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.
13. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
14. I disagree with Kay Jewelers.  I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
15. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
16. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
17. Shirts get dirty.  Underwear gets dirty.  Pants?  Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
18. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.
19. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.


powdergirl said...

-2 has bit me on the ass a coupla times : )

Suz said...

Oh, yeah.

Momma Fargo said...

Yep. All true. Especially #3.

AirmanMom said... fave!

Coffeypot said...

AM, and great blogging post.

Anonymous said...

#14 is my favorite!! Love your posts Coffey! You rock!!

LOLA said...

I learned how to fold a fitted sheet in a nursing class, but I don't think I can explain it in words. I would also enjoy a sarcasm font. I don't always know how to get out of my neighborhood. Yeah, I would really like to see an obit that just tells the fuckin' truth -- like he was a bastard who deservedly suffered from prostate cancer for six years till to everyone's relief he finally went toes up. Don't you have caller block in your phone? I list the people who aren't allowed to call me and their calls go straight to voice mail. Then I won't accidentally answer a call from them. I've been tired for 31 years. I hear about 20% of what people say and I now use the subtitles option when I watch a DVD. TMI? Here's more: I was constipated earlier this week and relieved it by eating at Cracker Barrel.


Coffeypot said...

Lola, you were a nurse and a teacher and you should do a meme post.