Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Advice To Hikers

Our friends to the North of us have started posting bear warning signs on the kicking trails.  One reads as follows”

Due to the frequency of human-bear encounters, the B.C. Fish and Wildlife Branch is advising hikers, hunters, fishermen and any persons that use the out of doors in a recreational or work related function to take extra precautions while in the field.

We advise the outdoorsman to wear little noisy bells on clothing so as to give advanced warning to any bears that might be close by so you don't take them by surprise.

We also advise anyone using the out-of-doors to carry "Pepper Spray" with him is case of an encounter with a bear.

Outdoorsmen should also be on the watch for fresh bear activity, and be able to tell the difference between black bear feces and grizzly bear feces. Black bear feces are smaller and contain lots of berries and squirrel fur. Grizzly bear shit has bells in it and smells like pepper.

My advice…stay home.


Momma Fargo said...

LOL. Ha. Shoot 'em, then run...cuz that doesn't work either.

Even playing dead with grizzlies is stupid. Why pretend the impending doom?

Black bears...and screaming, noise..yeah right.

Run...not fast enough.

What about a bear suit? Would that work?

Anonymous said...

Their shit must smell good. :P

chief torpedoman said...

Take a buddy with you that you are sure is not a good runner. Then you don't have to outrun the bear, just outrun your buddy.

Coffeypot said...

MF, be careful if you wear the bear suit, you might get bread by a huge grizzly.

IF, no shit smells good.

CT, good to hear from you again, Chief. Yep, all you have to do is outrun the slowest in the crowd.

LOLA said...

That's great. I think I'll stay inside forever.


middle child said...

So THAT'S why Hunter never gets a deer. It's the damn bells! (I think I'm gonna hide his bells.)

j-tony said...

There's an old joke about two hikers meeting a bear in the woods. The first hiker bends down and starts to tie his shoes. The second hiker says, are you kidding, you'll never out run that bear. The first hiker looks at him and says, I don't have to out run the bear. I just have to outrun you...

T. Roger Thomas said...


The Reckmonster said...

Uh yeahhhhhh, I'm thinking that watching a nice National Geographic special on bears is a little more my speed. I'm with you, Coffey...stay home!

Yogi♪♪♪ said...

I love this.