Friday, October 28, 2011

Friday Silliness!!!

Thought I would offer you a little Friday Silliness…

'Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'
'Well, that sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome.'
'Is it common?'
'It's Not Unusual.'
Two cows are standing next to each other in a field.  Daisy says to Dolly,'I  was artificially inseminated this morning.'
'I don't believe you,' says Dolly.
'It's true; no bull!' exclaims Daisy.
An invisible man marries an invisible woman.  The kids were nothing to look at either.
Déjà Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.
I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.
What do you call a fish with no eyes?  A fsh.
Two fish swim into a concrete wall.  One turns to the other and says, 'Dam!'
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were a bit cold, so they lit a fire in the craft.  It sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel, and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories.  After about an hour, the manager came out of the office, and asked them to disperse.
'But why,' they asked, as they moved off.
'Because,' he said, 'I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.'
A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption.  One of them goes to a family in Egypt , and is named 'Ahmal.'  The other goes to a family in Spain and they name him 'Juan.'   Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother.  Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal.
Her husband responds, 'They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal.'
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet.  He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.  This made him (Oh, man, this is so bad, but it's good)...  A super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
And finally, there was the person who sent twenty different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh.  No pun in ten did.
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married.  The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was great.
A set of jumper cables walk into a bar.  The bartender says, 'I'll serve you, but don't start anything.'
Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
A dyslexic man walks into a bra . . .
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm, and says: 'A beer for me and one for the road.'
Two cannibals are eating a clown.  One says to the other: 'Does this taste funny to you?'

That’s enough silliness…for now.  Have a great weekend, Peeps!


Momma Fargo said...

That was good silliness! LOL

Paxford said...

Ohhh I love Tom Jones (his singing - not the other bits)

(happily humming "What's new..."

Beau's Mom said...

Unlike Paxford, I never did like Tom Jones. Which just goes to show that you please a lot of different people...mostly women, but I'm just commenting on your blog - not you. hee hee

Suz said...

Thanks, I needed that...

LOLA said...

Those are funny Coffey. I giggled.


Citizen Soldier said...

They were stupidly funny. Thanks for the laugh.