Thursday, January 05, 2012

Mother-In- Law

That’s Dot working on her crossword puzzle.

My eighty-seven year old mother-in-law, Dot, comes down from New Jersey each year for two or three weeks over Christmas (Judy’s sister back home is Jehovah Witness and Dot has no one to celebrate with.)

You are seeing her above in her natural element when she is here.  On her fat ass reading or working crosswords.   She will get up to eat (if she can’t get someone to bring it to her) and go to the bathroom.  With the latter, our toilet paper use doubles…my god how big is that hole?   And she takes pills for every ailment known to man and wears patches for pain.  She takes stool softeners and then a pill to keep her from shitting her brains out.  Yet Judy had to run to the store to get her a laxative.  She’s a trip.  And Judy has to make EVERY decision for her. 

Yet she is sweet and appreciative of all the attention (she doesn’t get it at home.)  However, she can be draining on the soul and wear a person out.  So when it’s time for her to leave, there aren’t too many tears shed.

Today was the day!

But taking her to the airport wasn’t the only thing I had to do today.  After dropping her off, I had to go pick up my  nephew, David, and take him for his follow up visit after his back surgery (he came out great, by the way – thank you for asking.)  So I had time to drop her off and drive over to David’s with plenty of time to spare.

Dot always has more stuff going back than she did when she came down.  Christmas, ya know!  So she packs her bags with what she came with and we box up all the other stuff and mail it to her.  There were several bags and boxes in her room to be packed up.

She told me she only had one suitcase and one carry-on.  So I took her suitcase out to the car while she took her time with her walker going to and getting into the car.  And off we go on our hundred mile trip to the airport…through the heart of downtown Atlanta during morning rush hour traffic.  But the trip ran pretty smooth today.  No wrecks to deal with (a rarity during the rush hour around here.)

As I was about to get off I-85 to go to the airport unloading area, I told Dot to get her boarding pass out.  She said it was in the blue bag in the back seat.

“What blue bag?” 

“My carry-on!”

“Did you put it in the car?”

“No! You were supposed to bring it out with my suitcase.”

The blue bag was on the other side of the room with the presents to be mailed and the suitcase was on her bed.  Who would have known?

Anyerror, this is one of the reasons I don’t carry a gun in my car.  Yet I was wishing with every fiber of my being for an ejection seat on the passenger side.

“That’s okay, we can print out another boarding pass at the airport.”

“But my picture id is in my carry-on.”

(Can I open the door and push her out?)

So, I have no other choice but to turn around and go back the 100 mils to get her stuff.  She is apologizing profusely and I am telling her that it’s okay.  It was my fault for not realizing I was dealing with a lazy…oh, forget it.

So on the way back I decided to just change the flight and send her ass home tomorrow.  She can pay for the flight change. 

She didn’t say another word all the way home.  But she did get to eat the doughnut she had in her walker pouch (where she normally keeps her billfold with her charge cards and id.)

I had to drive like a bat out of hell to cover the 100 miles back to get David to the doctor.  I had to call and tell them we would be late and arrived only 30 minutes late.
But have no worries about Dot.  I get to do it all over again in the morning.

Tomorrow night will be SWEEETTTT!

And don’t forget to read the previous post.  It is for you on educational benefit.


Rita said...

Here I was, all ready to post some smart ass comment when I got to the point of the picture ID being in the carry-on.

Literally, I slapped myself on the forehead.

You're a saint.

I would have had to take a pill.

Coffeypot said...

Rita, if she stayed here for longer periods I think I would become a pill addict. Or be in jail...

Rita said...

And I blame you for the red mark now residing on my forehead.

Lost_without_a_Map said...

ROFL...I think a doughnut in the walker pouch is way better than charge cards and ID (I mean, it 'is' kind of weird to snack on those =).

Bag Blog said...

I'm not sure why I have not been by your blog before now - when I have seen "coffeypot" around the blogosphere for a while. But I dropped by today and loved your posts.

This reminds me of my own mother who just turned 80. I love that woman, but I can only take her in short spurts, because she makes me crazy (for many of the same things you mentioned in your MIL). I hate to admit that to anyone, but there it is.

Tracie said...

At least she doesn't live with you!

PS I haven't seen my MIL in 2 years. Life is good.

AirmanMom said...

As a M-I-L, I represent this post! It is my hope, one of my four D-I-L or S-I-L love me half as much as you love this woman!
Love, love, love your relationship!
(now pass the pills)

p.s. BagBlog, so glad you stopped by to read our friend, CoffeyPot!

dc said...

Awe, there will be a special place in heaven for you, hopefully not next to your mother-in-law, but you never know!

Coffeypot said...

Bag Blog, thanks for stopping by and come on back anytime.

dc, If that happens I wouldn't consider it Heaven.

Momma Fargo said...

OMG! I am sorry, but that was funny and I am laughing. Only because it wasn't me. LOL

Anonymous said...

I love your Dot posts. Although I think I would have popped a pill, too with Rita if I had to turn around and go back.
-Terri (Olly)

Anonymous said...

I am an older man, facing some serious health issues. I know that taking care of your in-laws can be very tough, and I've always told my kids how older people get gripey and self-absorbed.

As Parkinson's works its magic on me, I think about going off heart meds so I'm no burden to those I love.

Reading your post makes that an easy choice.

Austin, TX

Janie Junebug said...

Oooooooh, dear. I'm so sorry for you, but I adore your honesty. However, I find it interesting that your mother-in-law is younger than you are.

Janie "Lola"

Coffeypot said...

Anonymous, I am truly sorry for your predicament, but I don’t care much for your self pity. My younger brother, Sister Stephen, has Parkinson’s and is having a pretty rough time right now. But he is facing and fighting it with a courage I can only wish I had. If you want to off yourself, go ahead - pussy. In your self pity you have no room for the feeling and consideration of your family. You had rather have them remember you as a quitter and a coward. And there is no room here for self-pitying pussy’s like you, so stay away from my readers.

Coffeypot said...

Janie, my M-I-L is twenty years my years.

NavyOne said...

Now that is how a Sailor responds! (Regrading Anon and Parkinson's.)

Rita said...

Coffeypot: Did you realize your MIL reads your blogs and posts like she's from Tx? I think you have a gen-u-whine stalker now.

Pamela said...

I remember last years post. Maybe this year you will get TWO posts out of MIL