Some of you out there are planning on having a baby one day or fathering one. To help you make up your mind and prepare you for the future I have researched (my email) and found the most asked questions. These should help you out.
Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No! 35 children is enough.
Q: I’m two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after the finishes college.
Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby’s sex?
Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she’s borderline irrational.
A: So what’s your question?
Q: My childbirth instructor says its not pain I’ll be feeling during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way a tornado might be called an air current.
Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you are pregnant.
Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word ‘alimony’ means anything to you.
Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes! Pregnancy!
Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the diaper very quickly.
Q: My baby was born last week. When will my wife began to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.