Wednesday, December 05, 2012

Christmas Carrols For The Psychotically Challenged!

Schizo:  “Do You Hear What I Hear?”
Narcissistic:  “Hark!  The Herald Angles Sing About Me!”
Paranoid:  “Santa Clause Is Coming To Get Me!”
Mania:  “Deck The Halls & Walls & House & Lawns & Street & Office & Kitchen & Cars & Buses & Trees & Fire Hydrants & …”
Multiple:  “We Three Queens Disoriented Are…”
Passive-Aggressive:  “One The First Day Of Christmas My True Love Gave To Me And Then Took It Away!”
Amnesia:  “I Don’t know If I’ll Be Home For Christmas!”
Borderline Personality Disorder:  “Thoughts Of Roasting On An Open Fire!”
Full Personality Disorder:  “You Better Watch Out, I’m Gonna Cry, I’m Gonna Pout, Maybe I’ll Tell You Why!”
OCD:  “Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells…”
Agoraphobia:  “I Heard The Bells On Christmas Day But Wouldn’t Leave My House!”
Senile Dementia:  “Walking In A Winter Wonderland Miles From My Home In My Slippers And Robe!”
Oppositional Defiant Disorder:  “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Clause So I Burned Down The House!”
Social Anxiety Disorder:  “Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas While I Sit Here And Hyperventilate!”


lotta joy said...

I wasn't listed. I have no idea what the title would be, but it goes like this:

"I REFUSE to enjoy it and you can't make me."

Old NFO said...

Oh damn, that one is GREAT! :-)I'm stealing this one!!!

Coffeypot said...

LJ, Cranky Bitch comes to mind. Like mine is Cranky Bastard. I hate this time of year.

Old NFO, help yourself.