Thursday, July 31, 2014

The Female Is More Deadly Than The Male

My blogger pal, ExBootneck, over at posted this today and I had to pass it on.  

When the Himalayan peasant meets the he-bear in his pride,
He shouts to scare the monster, who will often turn aside.
But the she-bear thus accosted rends the peasant tooth and nail.
For the female of the species is more deadly than the male.

When Nag the basking cobra hears the careless foot of man,
He will sometimes wriggle sideways and avoid it if he can.
But his mate makes no such motion where she camps beside the trail.
For the female of the species is more deadly than the male.

When the early Jesuit fathers preached to Huron’s and Choctaws,
They prayed to be delivered from the vengeance of the squaws.
‘Twas the women, not the warriors, turned those stark enthusiasts pale.
For the female of the species is more deadly than the male.

Man’s timid heart is bursting with the things he must not say,
For the Woman that God gave him isn’t his to give away;
But when hunter meets with husband, each confirms the other’s tale –
The female of the species is more deadly than the male.

Man, a bear in most relations-worm and savage otherwise, –
Man propounds negotiations, Man accepts the compromise.
Very rarely will he squarely push the logic of a fact
To its ultimate conclusion in unmitigated act.

Fear, or foolishness, impels him, ere he lay the wicked low,
To concede some form of trial even to his fiercest foe.
Mirth obscene diverts his anger - Doubt and Pity oft perplex
Him in dealing with an issue - to the scandal of The Sex!

But the Woman that God gave him, every fiber of her frame
Proves her launched for one sole issue, armed and engined for the same;
And to serve that single issue, lest the generations fail,
The female of the species must be deadlier than the male.

She who faces Death by torture for each life beneath her breast
May not deal in doubt or pity - must not swerve for fact or jest.
These be purely male diversions - not in these her honor dwells.
She the Other Law we live by, is that Law and nothing else.

She can bring no more to living than the powers that make her great
As the Mother of the Infant and the Mistress of the Mate.
And when Babe and Man are lacking and she strides unclaimed to claim
Her right as femme (and baron), her equipment is the same.

She is wedded to convictions - in default of grosser ties;
Her contentions are her children, Heaven help him who denies!
He will meet no suave discussion, but the instant, white-hot, wild,
Wakened female of the species warring as for spouse and child.

Unprovoked and awful charges - even so the she-bear fights,
Speech that drips, corrodes, and poisons - even so the cobra bites,
Scientific vivisection of one nerve till it is raw
And the victim writhes in anguish - like the Jesuit with the squaw!

So it came that Man, the coward, when he gathers to confer
With his fellow-braves in council, dare not leave a place for her
Where, at war with Life and Conscience, he uplifts his erring hands
To some God of Abstract Justice - which no woman understands.

And Man knows it! Knows, moreover, that the Woman that God gave him
Must command but may not govern - shall enthrall but not enslave him.
And She knows, because She warns him, and Her instincts never fail,
That the Female of Her Species is more deadly than the Male.

All I can say, guys, is don’t tell your woman.  She may get it in her mind to actually prove her deadly talent.  Hell, she may even start to believe this... stuff.



Miss Em said...

To late.

Linda said...

Rudyard Kipling was a genius.

Differ said...

Which is why female suffrage and female politicians are a big problem. Seems The bard knew this too when he wrote Lady Macbeth's character....

Anonymous said...

Erm. Okay. FIRST OF ALL!!!!!!! Men do not bear children. They don't have the same instinct to kill and maim to protect offspring. Why, even the males of some species would EAT their babies.

The females have to carry a 8 lb baby in her belly or 3 cubs or those EGGS that are so big that its a marvel any of these things can pass through the female body when the time comes. Then their body has to be contorted, stretched, cut up, torn apart to give birth to man's deepest wish-- his future generations. So is it any wonder that the females are the deadlist of most species?

Not for the first time, but it makes me wonder if men have this secret pride... like... OMG look at the size of that baby!!! Then applaud to himself-- thinking, wow, my hose must be that big if that babe was able to fit through the vagina!!!

But I am not a man, so I do not know.

Coffeypot said...

Miss Em... NEVER!

Linda... a was kinda smart...

Differ... careful, dude, or you won't get any tonight.

FB... I, as a human man, would prefer to eat the mother. But when the big baby does come out, the man is thinking, "OMG, that cunt is stretched out so much I will never feel snug anymore."

lotta joy said...

YOU, dear coffeypot, are the prime example of WHY we are deadly. After our last scream of childbirth follows tons and tons of laundry - his AND the child's, while he lifts his beer and proclaims "Look what I did."

Coffeypot said...

LJ, shut it. The woman knows what she is getting into when she lets the man hump her. All that goes with the territory. If you wanted different, you could marry another woman. Now be a good woman and go get me 'nother beer.