Monday, April 12, 2010

Redneck Monday - Top 15 Songs and A Wedding

Top 15 Redneck Songs for 2010

1. If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You
2. If The Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me
3. I Can’t I Miss You Until You‘re Gone!
4. I Liked You Better Before I Got to Know You So Well
5. I Still Miss You Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better
6. I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dog Fight 'Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win
7. I'll Marry You Tomorrow But Let's Honeymoon Tonight
8. I'm So Miserable Without You It's Like Having You Here
9. If I Had Shot You When I Wanted To I'd Be Out Of Prison By Now
10. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Sure Do Miss Him
11. She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger
12. You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly
13. Her Teeth Was Stained But Her Heart Was Pure
14. She's Looking Better After Every Beer
15. I Haven't Gone To Bed With Any Ugly Women, but I've Sure Woke Up With A Few.

A Redneck Honeymoon

A hillbilly man and his new teen bride were on their honeymoon. The husband jumps into bed to wait for his wife to get herself ready.

The wife comes out of the bathroom in a sexy negligee and says "Honey, I gotta ask you sumthin'. Be gentle with me 'cause I'm a virgin."

The man cusses, grabs his clothes and rushes out of the house yelling at the top of his lungs. He heads straight to his fathers house.

When he gets there, his father says, "Son, what in tarnation're you doin' here, dang it? You're supposed ta be on your honeymoon with your new gal bride."

The son says, "Pa, she told me a big secret of hers. She's a virgin, durn it!"

"Damn, son. You did the right thing by leaving. If she ain't good enough for her own family, she sure as hell ain't good enough for ours!"


Pamela said...

you missed my favorite:
"If my nose was made of money, I'd blow it all on you."


Momma Fargo said...

I think I know all these people. LOL.

ScoMan said...

And Robin Williams says Australians are rednecks. I ain't never heard none of them there songs.

I did laugh at the second one though.. "If the phone don't ring, you'll know it's me" hahaha

Anonymous said...

That cartoon is the funniest!

Lickety Splitter said...

Number 4 and number 8 are my personal favorites. They remind me of my EXB! My love/hate relationship screaming "What the hell am I thinking!?!"

blueviolet said...

Age! So wrong and apparently, red.

CI-Roller Dude said...

I know these people to.... I not only arrested some, but I've arrested their children and their grand children....

The Empress said...

Oh, coffeypot! It was your comment at a prior site that led me here! You are hysterical.

Say hello to your newest follower!

Coffeypot said...

Hello Miss Empress! Where did you come from so I'll know who to blame. From you follower list, I would guess it was Miss Daffy, my secret fantisy. Don't tell her, though. If not, who?