1. If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You 2. If The Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me 3. I Can’t I Miss You Until You‘re Gone! 4. I Liked You Better Before I Got to Know You So Well 5. I Still Miss You Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better 6. I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dog Fight 'Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win 7. I'll Marry You Tomorrow But Let's Honeymoon Tonight 8. I'm So Miserable Without You It's Like Having You Here 9. If I Had Shot You When I Wanted To I'd Be Out Of Prison By Now 10. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Sure Do Miss Him 11. She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger 12. You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly 13. Her Teeth Was Stained But Her Heart Was Pure 14. She's Looking Better After Every Beer 15. I Haven't Gone To Bed With Any Ugly Women, but I've Sure Woke Up With A Few.
A Redneck Honeymoon
A hillbilly man and his new teen bride were on their honeymoon. The husband jumps into bed to wait for his wife to get herself ready.
The wife comes out of the bathroom in a sexy negligee and says "Honey, I gotta ask you sumthin'. Be gentle with me 'cause I'm a virgin."
The man cusses, grabs his clothes and rushes out of the house yelling at the top of his lungs. He heads straight to his fathers house.
When he gets there, his father says, "Son, what in tarnation're you doin' here, dang it? You're supposed ta be on your honeymoon with your new gal bride."
The son says, "Pa, she told me a big secret of hers. She's a virgin, durn it!"
"Damn, son. You did the right thing by leaving. If she ain't good enough for her own family, she sure as hell ain't good enough for ours!"