Sunday, November 20, 2011

Insensitive! Who Me?

I’m feeling a little insensitive today so I thought I would throw out a few of my thoughts.

How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
Marry It!

What’s the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.

What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?
Nothing, she's been told twice already.

If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong?
You made her chain too long.

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.

Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course! He'll shut up once you let him in.

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.

Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.

There, now.  I feel much better.


Sandra said...

haha! I'm laughing my ass off, John! I like it when you're in an insensitive mood!

Maxwell said...

I read these to my lady, who is writing a paper on feminism. The irony made the jokes even funnier.

Rita said...

Well that post isn't going to get you laid anytime soon, right Judy?

dirtycowgirl said...

I think I'll send these to my Dad, he'll love them :)

JMPNJO said...

ME 2, LMAO, John if this stuff is original, I want to be your agent.
Keep on truck'n.

Janie Junebug said...

You care and you know it. I know it too. The insensitivity crap is an act.