Monday, December 05, 2011


I have got to quit telling sacrilegious jokes.  And I need to stock up on snake bite cures.  I seem to have the black cloud over my head like Joe Btfsplk (the world’s worst jinx), the guy in the Lil Abner comic strip (see above.)

You know of the grand I spent on my two dogs.  You remember me telling you about the grand plus for the timing gear on the car and the $900 break and tire job on the truck.  Well, shit has happened again.

My grandson, J-Man and I were heading to the new house on Friday night.  We got off I-85 at the exit, needed gas, decided to wait until Saturday morning to get it.  Got up at 5:00 a.m. on Saturday to get a start on helping my son-in-law, Steven, move to the new house.

Started out, ran over something in the road.  Ran out of gas!  Had to call GEICO emergency road service to get some gas sent to us.  We were on a dirt road, a few miles from civilization.  This character straight out of the funny papers (late 60’s, long white hair combed down over the forehead ala Beatles, NO TEETH and funny as hell) brought us a couple of gallons of gas.  Great! Off we go.

A mile later the engine stops.   I’m out of gas again.  Strange!

J-Man and I walk to a QT gas station that is open 24/7 and got a gallon of gas.  Mind you, it’s 28 degrees outside and we are wearing light jackets and sneakers.  Anyshivering, we get back to the truck and I am poring gas in and J-Man says, “Paw-Paw, the gas is leaking out.”  FUCK ME!

I crawl under the truck and there is a hole in the gas tank that I can stick my hand in.  I think the gas tank itself has a puncture, but the plastic housing has a huge gouge in it.

There is still enough gas for me to drive to the QT and call GEICO again.  They will pay to have the truck the nearest Ford Deaer...5 miles away. Then I call a few dealers.  It seems a new gas tank is over $1,300.  Just fucking great.  The kitty is baron. There are no more cookies to pass out to the fucking world.  Broke! Nothing! Nada! Zilch!

So I had the truck towed to a garage that Dr. Amber uses and they are looking for an after-market (fancy word for ‘used’) tank.  They are 22 miles away.  I have to pay for 17 miles at $3.00 and some odd cents to have it towed.  Anybody need anyone killed for a few cheap dollars?  I need the money. 

I am also calling the junkyards in the area to see if they have one, too.

In the mean time I am stuck at home.  No way to go anyplace.  Stranded! Landlocked!  Just me, the dogs and the cat.  I am banging my head against the wall.  I have to get out of here.  I’m going crazy.  I need time off for good behavior.  I need someone to come and put a rope on the door and tie it to their bumper and drive off, ripping the door away.  I need to escape.  I cannot stand not having my truck.

Judy drove the car to work…she has no compassion today. 

I just pray (not kidding this time) that the garage can perform a miracle and fix, not replace, my tank.

I’ll let you know…if I don’t go bug-ass crazy first.


Beau's Mom said...

Well, at least Geico really shows up! I was wondering about them.

Suz said...

Geesh! That just sucks! Maybe you SHOULD stay home for a few days - see if you can keep yourself out of (expensive) trouble!

Just don't clean up those jokes!

blueeyedtawni said...

gives you lots of hugs! My car needs a tune up it has a gas leak as well but its just the seal..
i swan when it rains it poars!!
if i had a million dollars id give you some monies and buy us both coffee..hugs!!!

Well Seasoned Fool said...

Epoxy is your friend. Find the hole. You may need to remove a shroud. You want two sticks; the kind that comes in a six inch plastic tube. Start with one half of the tube. There will be an outer layer and an inner core. You mix by kneading the two together until you have a uniform color. Make a pancake between your palms.
You have already used a rag to clean and dry the area around the hole. Put your pancake over the hole. Holding it in place with one hand, start pressing the edges against the tank. Give it an hour to harden (will change colors. Do more layers if needed. Let it sit overnight to cure.

Won't look pretty but it will hold gas. Should be able to do it for under $20. Yes, poor people have poor ways. If it works, who cares?

Coffeypot said...

WSF, I wish I had read this yesterday. I did ask the mechanic if an epoxy could be used and he said no. The gas tank has several layers and the hole was pretty big. He was able to find a used one and with labor, it will run me about $500. Better than the $1,300 for a new one plus labor to install it. I use to be able to do mechanical stuff, but my back won't let me do much anymore. Growing old suck...though it is slightly better than the alternative. Thank you for your advice and welcome to the coffeypot. Come back anytime.

Gia said...

That sucks!! You shoulda chauffered her to work, then you woulda had her car all day.

Coffeypot said...

Gia, I would but she need it today for business.

Miss Em said...

Hi Blog-Daddy

BB says if its a plastic g-tank the epoxy won't work only sticks to a metal one.

Miss Em

PS if you were still in Woodstock he would stop by and drag you out to hunt Bambi with him tomorrow.

The Reckmonster said...

JINKIES, SCOOB!! That is some rotten murphy's law kind of luck! Well, at least you've gotten your share of shitty shenanigans...the new year has to be good for you! Hope that you get the 'mobile fixed up and you're rolling around soon enough. I would die if I were stranded at home with no wheels...well, after I took a shitload of naps, that is.

Pamela said...

well.. thankful that you didn't run over a lit cigarrette or something and go boom!

Seems like it is a constant battle... keeping things from overwhelming us.

Pamela said...

I remember my dad having everyone in the car chew bubble gum and fixed a leak to get the miles driven to a service station