Will Rogers, who died in a 1935 plane crash along with Wiley Post, was one of the two greatest political sages this country has ever know (the other being Bob Hope.)
Below are a baker’s dozen of his sayings:
1. Never slap a man who’s chewing tobacco.
2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
3. There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.
4. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
5. Always drink upstream from the herd.
6. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.
7. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back in your pocket.
8. There are three kind of men:
The ones that learn by reading.
The few who learn by observation.
The rest of them have to piss on the electric fence and find out for themselves.
9. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
10. If you’re riding ahead of the heard, take a look back every now and then to make sure it’s still there.
11. Lettin’ the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier’n puttin’ it back.
12. After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started to roar.
He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him.
The Moral: When you are full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
13. Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft.
Today it’s called golf.
Of course there are hundreds more, but you would get tired of reading them if I put them here.