Got A Prescription

I went to the doctor today. I just wasn’t getting better and actually felt a little worse, so I made the phone call. Good news is I don’t have the flu of any variation. Bad news is I have a bug of come kind. I called Orkin, but they wouldn’t come out.

So I did the next best thing. I got the doctor to give me a prescription for some antibiotics. There is nothing that can be done for a viral infection, but the coughing and stuff that is in the ‘bug’ category can be handled, controlled, or hopefully cured with a good antibiotic. I was assigned a drug called Clarithromycin ER. I will have to wait a day or two to see how great this drug is for my old body.

But let me ask you something. One the label, along with personal information and phone numbers and stuff is this instruction: “Take two tablets by mouth every day with food.” Now I have no problem with the two tablets every day with food. But why the by mouth?

Do you really believe that there are some people out there who would take the vile of pills and read the instructions without the ‘by mouth’ and not know that it is to be taken my mouth? Someone who would take the vile and say, “Man, I think I will put the two pills up each nostril and let the snot dissolve them.” or “ I wonder if the antibiotics with get into my system faster if I put one in each ear?” Maybe they would think that they would add a little sexy excitement to their life by shoving the two pills up their ass.

Okay, I know I’m not hip (if y’all even say that word anymore) to many of the new words and sayings like ‘Word’ or ’Snap’ or ‘Fazzile’ or "May ah gank some toothpaste? All ye damn hood ratz." But are people just that stupid that they have to be told to take the pills by mouth? To me, when a doctor or pharmacist gives you a vile of pills, unless it specifically states to shove one up your ass or dissolve in water or juice, I am going to take it by mouth. How ‘bout you?

The Mechanic Doctor

 
A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and HMO paperwork, and was burned out. Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would be beneficial, he decided to become a mechanic.

He went to the local technical college, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently, and learned all he could. When the time of the practical exam approached, the gynecologist prepared carefully for weeks, and completed the exam with tremendous skill. When the results came back, he was surprised to find that he had obtained a score of 150%.

Fearing an error, he called the instructor, saying, "I don't want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wonder if there is an error in the grade."

The instructor replied, "During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark. You put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth 50% of the mark."

After a pause, the instructor added, "I gave you an extra 50% because you did it all through the muffler, which I've never seen done in my entire career."