Happy To Be Home In Georgia

I’mmm BAAAACCCCKKKKKK!

And I am so damn glad.  New Jersey is not one of my favorite places, and I have heard it called the arm pit the nation (if that is so, what appendage does that make Florida?).   In many ways, I have to agree.  The roads, for example, are among the worst in the nation.  Driving is like being on a washboard, and they earned the state motto, “The Garden State” mainly because of all the blooming idiots driving the bumpy roads.   But, to be fair there are some good things about the place, too.

The state is covered with hardwoods.  Being from Georgia, I am sick of pine trees - the pine pollen that turns everything yellow in the spring and the sap that sticks like super glue.  There are no pines in NJ.  If there are no one can see them.   There are woods everywhere, too.  Neighborhoods (especially the older ones) have huge trees in their yards and huge wooded areas between living areas. 

Dropping Judy off in the mornings at work, there are deer eating on company property and in the yards of the neighborhoods.  Driving down the turnpike, four deer tried to cross I 95 and car horns were blaring like a 4^th of July parade.  They turned and ran back in the woods.

Another thing I like about New Jersey is my mother-in-law lives there.  Dot is a sweetie in her own way, but it is best for her survival that she live in New Jersey.

The best thing I’ve found in NJ is the Diners.  OMG!  It’s a wonder that everyone in the state doesn’t weigh over 300 lbs.  I’ll have to admit, there were three days that I did not think about (or even miss) the Waffle House.  And the amount served for the price paid???? I don’t see how the stay in business.  Every trip up there, I enjoy some of the best meals ever put in my mouth.

And the final thing I like about NJ is I-78 West and the New Jersey Turnpike (I 95) South.  New Jersey is a good place to be from. 

I know, I know.  It’s been a good home to millions of fine people.  It’s the people of NJ (once you get them out of the autos) that makes visiting there worth it. The television shows and movies give them a bad rap.  I have had nothing but good experiences with the funny talking people (I DO NOT TALK FUNNY, Y’ALL).

Judy and I got home at 7:30 this Wednesday morning and I was asleep at 7:31.  It was a good, busy weekend up there with Dot on Mother’s Day.  Plus, on Tuesday I had to do a three hour run to Menands, NY, to pick up a dog to bring back for Dr. Amber.   So it was tiring drive back, but it worth it.

Lessons Learned From Mom

I Owe All of This To My Mother

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone.."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until your father gets home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20.. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT..
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you"

So Happy Mother’s Day to everyone who has, had or is one.

Happy Mothers Day 2010

Happy Mother's Day To All You Moms Out There