More Definitions

 

Here are some more medical definitions from the Red Neck Dictionary to aid you in conversations with those of us blessed to be from the South. You know the saying, “American By Birth - Southern By The Grace Of GOD”

A pubic hair is a type of wild rabbit.
Asphalt describes rectal problems.
A condom is a large apartment.
Douche is the French word for "twelve.
Genitals are people of non-Jewish descent.
A Diaphragm is a drawing in Geometry.
Fetus is a character on Gunsmoke.
An Erection is when Japanese people vote.
A Dildo is a variety of the sweet pickle.
An Umbilical Chord is part of a parachute.
Spread Eagle is an extinct bird.
A Menstrual Cycle has three wheels.
The Clitoris is a type of flower.
Testacles are found on an octopus.
Kotex is a radio station in Cincinatti.
Masturbate is used to catch large fish.

You're welcome!

New York or Bust

 
**EDIT** I left the house yesterday at 2:00 p.m. and I haven't had any sleep since. Well, I kinda did. I think I slept from just outside Harrisburg, PA, through Maryland and West Virginia and woke up as I was coming into Winchester, VA. I'm talented like that. Kinda like one of those "Watch This Shit..." things us Southern boys are use too. So I am in a motel and will try to get some shut eye - if I can get off this damn computer. But I have a few favs I have to check out first. TaTa!

It's that time of month, again. I am off to New York for another transport of man's best friend. I have another one scheduled on the 27th, too. The Vietnamese and Chinese restaurants must be running specials this month.

Anyways, some of you people of the Northern persuasion often have a difficult time understand God’s chosen language, English, spoken the way it should be spoken. So to help you understand the King’s English a little better, here is a translation chart for ya. I will start with Medical Terminology.

Arteery............The study of fine paintings.
Barium.............What you do if CPR fails.
Benign.............After you be eight.
Cesarean Section...A district in Rome.
Colic..............A sheep dog.
Coma...............A punctuation mark.
Congenital.........Friendly.
Dilate.............To live longer.
Fester.............Quicker.
G.I. Series........Baseball for soldiers.
Grippe.............A small suitcase.
Hangnail...........A coat-hook.
Medical Staff......A doctor’s cane.
Minor Operation....Coal digging.
Morbid.............A higher offer.
Nitrate............Lower than day rate.
Node...............Was aware of.
Organic............A church musician.
Outpatient.........A patient who has fainted.
Post-Operative.....A letter carrier.
Protein............In favor of young people.
Secretion..........Hiding something.
Serology...........Study of English Knighthood.
Tablet.............A small table.
Tumor..............An extra pair.
Urine..............Opposite of you’re out.
Varicose veins.....Veins that are close together.

Now, don’t ya feel smarter?

You’re welcome!