Watch Out For This Scam and A Video

Peeps, this is a scam alert.

Just got scammed outta $25!

I just bought Tiger Woods DVD entitled "My Favorite 18 Holes".

Turns out it's about golf. Damn waste of money.

Tell your family and friends to be on the alert.

Your welcome!

But this Tiger parody is worth the viewing.

Enjoy!

Your welcome, again!

Parking In Australia

Well it is a brilliant idea from my friend Stacy Artis. At least women can feel safe now in Australia.


Another New Law:

With the high rate of attacks on women in secluded parking lots, especially during evening hours, the Brisbane City Council has established a "Women Only" parking lot at the Westfield Shopping Centre in Carindale.

Even the parking lot attendants are exclusively female so that a comfortable and safe environment is created for patrons.

Below is the first picture available of this world-first women-only parking lot in Australia.

TRANSLATIONS & OTHER STUFF

 

TRANSLATIONS

DICTIONARY FOR MEN'S PERSONAL ADS
40-ish....................................................50+
Adventurous...............................................Will sleep with anyone
Athletic..................................................Has a job
Average looking...........................................Beer Belly
Handsome..................................................Gray hair
Emotionally secure........................................Drinks alot
Contagious smile..........................................Really drinks alot
Friendship first..........................................I'll use a condom
Fun.......................................................See contagious smile
Open minded...............................................Will your girlfriend join us?
Outgoing..................................................See contagious smile
Passionate................................................Doesn't mind foreplay first
Wants soul mate...........................................I need a live in maid!

DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS
40-ish....................................................49
Adventurous...............................................Slept with everyone
Athletic..................................................No Tits
Average looking...........................................Homely
Beautiful.................................................Pathological liar
Emotionally secure........................................Does prescription pills
Contagious smile..........................................Does any pills
Feminist..................................................Butch
Free spirit...............................................Junkie
Friendship first..........................................Trying to kick the slutty habit
Fun.......................................................Annoying
New age...................................................Body hair everywhere
Open minded...............................................Desperate
Outgoing..................................................Loud & embarrassing
Passionate................................................Sloppy drunk
Professional..............................................Bitch
Wants soul mate...........................................Stalker

WOMEN'S ENGLISH
1 Yes = No
2 No = Yes
3 Maybe = No
4 We need = I want
5 I am sorry = You'll be sorry
6 We need to talk = Your in trouble
7 Sure go ahead = You better not
8 Do what you want = You'll pay for this later
9 I am not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron
10 Your very attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

MEN'S ENGLISH
1 I am hungry = I am hungry
2 I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3 I am tired = I am tired
4 Nice dress = Nice cleavage !
5 I love you = Lets have sex now
6 I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7 May I have this dance = I want to have sex with you!
8 Can I call you sometime? = I want to have sex with you!
9 Do you want to go to a movie? = I want to have sex with you!
10 Can I take you out to dinner? = I want to have sex with you!
11 Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm Gay!

Phone Thought For To Day

 
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY...

Women are like phones:

They like to be held, talked to, and touched often.

But push the wrong button and your ass is disconnected.

Are We Born This Way

Are Men Born This Way?


Are Women Born This Way?

A Little Humor - Very Little

A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle. For example: If she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features. However, if she is menstruating or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth and a spear lodged in his forehead while he is on fire.

No further studies are expected.
*****
One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy gown. 'Tie me up,' she purred, 'and you can do anything you want.' So he tied her up and went golfing.
*****
A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, 'Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!' The husband said, 'Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?' 'Doesn't matter,' she said. 'Just get out.'
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband.
*****
A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license. First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test The optician showed him a card with the letters 'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.' 'Can you read this?' the optician asked. 'Read it?' the Polish guy replied, 'I know the guy.'
*****
Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, 'I must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent.' 'Thank God,' said an elderly nun at the back. 'I'm so tired of chardonnay.
*****
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. 'Careful,' he said, 'CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful! CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!'

The wife stared at him. 'What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?'

The husband calmly replied, 'I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving.'
*****
Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man, was drafted by the Army. On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair. On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush. That afternoon the Army dentist yanked out seven of his teeth. On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap. The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years.